A Glimpse of Eternity

‎"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of 
the power may be of God and not of us." (2 Corinthians 4:7)
I think that this verse has truth beyond the Christian meaning. It applies in 12-Step programs that speak of trusting a higher power to suspend our addictions where we could not. I believe that the best of humanity has a divine spark and the worst behavior of humanity is aided by a "lower power." The acknowledgement of divine forces gives me a glimpse of eternity. Today is not all there is. This is something I feel in my heart, not something I wish to debate about.

Hell. Again.

I have had a serious problem with the concept of hell.  I did gain a new insight last night, however.  I was chatting online with someone who is a new-age type of person.  He was berating the church for the concept of hell.  I was telling him that I have had this viewpoint too.  Then I had a thought that gave me pause. 
"What to do with someone like..oh..Hitler?"  Would Hitler be a good candidate for hell?  Hell is a place of punishment for those who need justice served to them.  So...should there be a hell to hold people like Hitler?  Should there be justice for those he committed heinous crimes against?
I asked my online acquaintance this question.  He did not seem to have an answer.  I don't know completely what I think about this either.  But there is definitely one viable candidate for a place like hell that I know of.  There is at least one human being in need of divine judgement. 

Deletes and Updates

When I used to religiously keep a written journal, I went through several books and many of them, I destroyed because I ended up hating what I wrote.  Flushed an entire journal down the toilet once.
So I did a virtual flush on here by deleting some of my more self-righteous or self-pitying posts.
The difference here is that I am sharing my thought with other people and opening myself to...?  Criticism?  Approval?
Been going to church regularly.  Terrible at reading the Bible.  Terrible.  And there is always a running dialogue on my head about everything regarding Christianity.  But I think I am at a turning point.  I have found some good ways to live and to think outside of the religion box.  But they are not the Best Way.  They are not the Highest Way.  So far, the best way seems to be Christianity.  I know this from trial and error.  I know this from throwing it all away and taking it all back.  I know this from asking every kind of tiresome, self righteous question, from every doubt, from every condemnation of whatever power is out there.  When I was a kid, I stuck my feet under the bed in my dark bedroom to see if there was a monster there.  Still doing that.new thought added on 5/5/12:  why does Christianity work for me?  How does it not work for me?  I feel so differently today than when I originally wrote this post.  Sigh

Introduction and History

"The existence of a world without God seems to me less absurd than the presence of a God, existing in all his perfection, creating an imperfect man in order to make him run the risk of Hell." [Armand Salacrou, "Certitudes et incertitudes," 1943]

Hello, I am an atheist. I wasn't always an atheist. It was a long journey to arrive at this much-maligned belief (or lack of belief?). When I was a child, I was in a cult until I was 11 years old. Then my family turned to Catholicism, which I did not. I turned to alcohol.
At age 19, I got sober through a Twelve-Step organization. A month later, I became a "born-again" Christian.
It was easy to get involved in the church since I had a friend there who introduced me to others. I threw my whole heart into belief. As Carl Jung has described, I focused on the things that upheld my beliefs and ignored those that did not.
I sampled several types of Christianity-I've been involved with a fundamentalist church, I have cast out "demons", I have believed in prophesies, I studied the Bible and prayed earnestly, trusting (as a child would-that's the ideal, right?) that God was in control.
I discussed Christianity with my family and boyfriend (later to be my husband), wanting them to believe as I did, wanting them to go to heaven rather than hell.
Original sin made sense to me. Bad things that happened to me were God's will to discipline me or the fault of the devil.
This went on for twenty years.
Then I began to see things differently.