Long Time

So I haven't been on here in a long time.  A lot has gone on.  I returned to Christianity and now I find myself with doubts again.  I don't think I will return to the atheist viewpoint again though.  I did have a thought that regardless of whether I believe there is or isn't a God, there is or isn't a God.  It has nothing to do with my beliefs.  Either there is or there isn't.  In a backwards kind of way, this gives me some peace.  It is not up to me and my thoughts.  I need not prove or disprove anything because things are as they should be.
I did rebuild from atheism or the belief that there is no higher being to the belief that there is.  Where Jesus Christ fits in this precisely, I don't know.  It is my right as a human being to pursue these lines of thought and it is my right to change my mind on things as I grow as a person.  Mainly, I believe in love.  Everything else flows from there.