I sometimes wonder if "atheist" is an accurate description for me. I really need to study that word and other similar words because I'm not sure.
I have stated that I don't believe in a god or gods however I do have a belief that all is not only evolution, chemicals and hormones.
There seems to be some extra spark to things, some sense of an intricate machine that works beautifully, something crafted by a creative force. What the force is, I don't know. I have a tendency to lean towards the idea of a life force or energy running through everything. The idea of "chi" comes close to this.
I have also been considering the idea of the yin-yang symbol: action and non-action, light and dark, warm and cool. Balance.
Happenings seem to go on as a pendulum, swinging from one extreme to another but spending a lot of time somewhere in the middle. All is ever-changing and yet patterns repeat themselves. Is there a sort of energy recycling going on? It happens with nature: clouds become rain becomes water and over again, plants turn to mulch which grows more plants...can this concept be applied to an energetic force running through everything? Is this the way an afterlife may happen? The recycling of a person's inner spark to rejoin the greater energy and then to be distributed into a person again? Or another type of being?
I cannot say that all is purely meaningless. I can not.